The Hazards of Love
by rosehustle1
Summary: The story begins during the episode "The Choice". It follows the rest of Thirteen and House's night out and continues from there.
1. Chapter 1

Part 1: While Sitting at the Bar…

"Yeah, my life is a breeze." Thirteen stated with an eye roll as she downed one of her martinis.

"You're successful, smart and you attract everything that moves. If you want to focus on the fact that you're not gonna see 50, that's your choice." House replied as he drank from his scotch. Thirteen smiled wryly at him.

"You're right my self-pity's optional. What about yours?" She asked while giving him a knowing look.

House was taken aback by her question and also impressed. Sometimes he forgot why he hired her and then times like these reminded him.

"Ah, you got me. Look, I know Wilson is behind this little night on the town. How much he pay you?"

Thirteen smiled with a tinge of guilt seeping into her eyes. "He offered me a hundred bucks."

House shook his head and took a last drink of his scotch before standing up.

"It's been fun in the fox hole, but I think I'm just gonna go home." He said as he laid down a five dollar bill and reached for his cane. Thirteen stood up and placed a hand on his shoulder to stop him.

"I'm…sorry. I know you'd rather be hanging with your best friend and unfortunately he's preoccupied…"

"He always is, when it comes to women who actually find his boyish looks charming."

Thirteen grinned and handed him his cane. "Let's go get some coffee. I know a good place." She said as she motioned for him to walk with her. He stared at her for a moment before nodding in agreement.

"This place looks small." House said as he walked to sit on a nearby bench.

"It is cozy. There's a difference." She replied as she joined him on the bench.

She knew he needed a moment to rest before walking anymore. She should have thought about how a two block walk would affect his leg. Strangely, he didn't even protest to the walk from the club to the bakery.

He let out a sigh and then stood up. Thirteen stood up and for a reason beyond her she slipped her arm through his. He stiffened and looked down at her in surprise. She only smiled in return.

"Come on, House. This place closes in an hour." She said as she pulled him with her into the building.

They sat at a small table in the far back. The chairs were cushioned with black leather. The décor was black and burgundy. What sounded like Coltrane played out of the speakers. Thirteen was looking at her menu trying to decide what she should try. House left his menu closed and stared at Thirteen.

"What?" She finally asked in irritation.

"Why did you do that?"  
She pursed her lips in confusion. "Do what?"

He rolled his eyes in annoyance. "Why did you put your arm through mine?"

She put her menu down.

"I don't know. Who cares. It's not a big deal." She said as she met his analytical stare.

"Accept that you have never done that before with me. Also by holding on to me in such a way, could appear, to an outsider that you liked me or something…" He rambled off his thoughts so fast that she felt a bit dizzy.

"You're my boss... I took your arm because it seemed like one of those moments where you make that kind of gesture…I'll never do it again if it makes you uncomfortable." She finished saying feeling a bit weary of the promise she had just made.

"I didn't say it made me uncomfortable."

She saw a softness form against his facial expression. His eyes seemed brighter than they had been in quite a while. Thirteen wondered when she first started noticing such subtle details about this irascible man.

"It was…nice." He said in what sounded like a whisper.

She was a bit speechless. She wasn't sure how to react to his honesty.

"Are you guys ready to order?" A waitress by the name of Roz asked suddenly. Thirteen and House broke their stare and looked at the waitress.

"I'll have a small decaf coffee with cream and a cinnamon muffin." Thirteen replied.

"I'll take a medium coffee, black. I'll also have a chocolate brownie." House told the waitress in a remarkably relaxed voice. Thirteen felt nervous and wondered why he didn't too.

"Alright. I'll be back with your food in a few minutes." Roz stated before taking their menus and heading toward the kitchen.

"The coffee better be good, Thirteen. I hate bad coffee as you well know." He stated with mock seriousness as he leaned back against his chair. She watched him with a mixture of amusement and confusion.

"Yeah, you always make that clear in the conference room after a batch of Taub's java has been brewed." She said with a coy grin. She felt slightly less nervous now that he seemed to be acting more like himself. They were both good at pretending.

"Well, I think the evening was less sucky than expected." He said as he walked Thirteen to her apartment door.

"Surprisingly, it was a nice night…House you should have this," She said as she pulled out a crisp hundred dollar bill.

His eyes grew wide at the reveal. "You did your job…you earned the money."

Instead of answering him, she took the bill and slipped it into his shirt pocket. She leaned forward and kissed his cheek. He stilled at the touch and closed his eyes briefly.

"Goodnight." She said as she turned to unlock her door. House, bewildered, stared as she opened the door and slipped inside. He stood there for a minute just staring at the closed door. Letting out a sigh he started to turn to go, but then he stopped.

Thirteen threw her purse on the coffee table and kicked her shoes to the floor. She really did have a good time with House, and even though she didn't really understand what was going on between them, she was just glad things ended well. She sighed to herself when she heard a knock at the door. "Who could that be?" She asked herself. She opened the door and was startled to find House still standing there.

"I thought I said goodbye to you five minutes ago?" She asked with a coy smile.

"Uh, didn't you know? We fell into a wormhole and now we're repeating that last moment over." He quipped before he stepped forward into her personal space.

"It's late, House…"

"I know…um…thanks for going out with me tonight… (He looked down at his feet for a moment and took in breath before meeting her eyes once more) Maybe we could try it again sometime."

She stood still at his question. Did he really just ask her out? Was he being serious?  
"Thirteen? If you don't want to…" He started to say ready to turn away. She laid a hand against his forearm.

"I do…I mean, what do you have in mind?"


	2. Chapter 2

Part 2: Back At the Roles We Play

House grinned at Thirteen's agreement to another night out together.

"So, what did you have in mind? Dinner?" She asked again with a bit more certainty.

"I like to eat and by the way you go to town on those pastrami sandwiches at lunch time, so do you."

She rolled her eyes playfully and leaned against her door.

"Your wit is astounding."

He smiled smugly and leaned forward on his cane.

"Since tomorrow I have a play date with Chase and Foreman, I thought that maybe Saturday we could have another not so sucky night together."

"Okay…but I choose what we do." She said with a devilish grin. He nodded wearily in agreement.

"Deal."

"Well, I must say goodnight again, unless there is another worm hole to worry about." Thirteen said.

"Uh, I think we're safe for now. Good night, Thirteen. Oh, and keep the hundred." He said as he placed the money in her hand.

"I told you to take it…"

"Put it towards our night on the town. I'm sure whatever you choose for us to do will cost money."

She shook her head in astonishment.

"You just don't want to pay."

"I look at it more as putting Wilson's money to good use."

She smiled and then nodded in agreement.

"Twenty-seven year old female experiencing hallucinations, back spasms, jaundice, and migraines…"

"Boring." Taub said.

"Well, it's better than the nine-year old with night sweats and synesthia." Foreman declared before taking a sip of his latte. Chase leaned back in his chair and sighed.

"God, we haven't had an interesting case in over a month."Chase stated.

"It's just a dry spell. They never last long." Thirteen stated as she skimmed through a magazine.

"It's good to see one of you still has a little faith." House suddenly declared as he arrived in the conference room. Thirteen looked up from her magazine and caught his gaze. He looked at her the same way he always had which she felt both glad and unnerved by.

"It's almost noon. This is late even for you." Chase said as he got up to make another cup of coffee.

"I had a late night. You know how it goes when you hang at lesbian clubs with mysterious bisexuals." House quipped. Thirteen rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, how did the night go with Thirteen?" Taub asked.

"Well, I never knew how rough a lesbian brawl could get…"

"There was no girl fight or anything else remotely titillating. I received numerous free drinks while he pouted in his scotch all night." Thirteen replied with a victorious smile. House smirked at her response and sat down at the head of the conference table.

The guys all grinned at Thirteen's verbal slap at House. She wasn't really that annoyed at him though. The banter she engaged with him was often the best part of her job. At least she knew herself in this role with him. She suddenly wondered how she would handle their upcoming date.

"Well, since all of you are just lazing about, each of you can take two of my clinic hours. Go forth and treat those debilitating sniffles and crotch sores."

The gang grumbled at his directive, but all of them got up to leave anyway. Before Thirteen had a chance to leave House motioned for her to stay behind.

"Pouting in my scotch?" He asked with amusement.

"Well, what would you call it?" She countered.

"Brooding. I'm a man that broods."

She sat down across from him.

"Well, now that we cleared that up…What did you want to ask me that you couldn't do in front of the team?"

"Are you planning on taking me to a strip club or race track on Saturday because if you are then I'm stoked."

"Sorry, none of the above."

He smiled for a moment and then began to frown. She wasn't sure what had changed his mood so fast.

"What?"

"I haven't been on an outing like this in a while." He said in a small voice. She softened at his sudden anxiety. She also couldn't help but to smile at his inability to say the word, date.

"Neither have I. I haven't been out with anyone since me and Foreman broke up eight months ago." She confessed. He looked at her a bit shocked, but she could see him begin to relax again.

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Now I know who to blame if the evening sucks."

They both grinned at each other.

"Well, I better go do those clinic hours."

"Yeah, but don't work too hard. Those overprotective parents need to learn that a cold is not curable."

She merely smiled at him in return before leaving the office. House sat there with wistful smile on his face.


	3. Chapter 3

Part 3: Taking in a Show

It was 9:30pm on a Saturday night and Thirteen couldn't believe she would have ever seen the sight before her now. House was doing shots with Madame Harriet and Lady Avalon, two beautiful drag queens whom Thirteen adored, at the newly renovated _Diamond in the Rough._ Upon first arriving at the club, House wrongly assumed that Thirteen was taking him to a strip club. He was delighted and admitted maybe even more smitten by her than before. But once he walked inside the building, and heard a rousing cover of Liza Minelli's "Maybe this Time," sung by Cinnamon Nice, a drag queen, drenched in blue glitter, wearing a silver body suit, long pink wig, and sparkling stilettos; his smile immediately turned into a frown. It took a few hard drinks of scotch and a promise to let him take her to a strip club next time around, for him to finally let go and have a great time.

"Darling, you are about to drink me under the table." Lady Avalon stated with a girlish laugh as she leaned against the booth. Madame Harriet took another swig in time with House.

"You always have been such a lightweight. This handsome blue eyed stallion however, will not take over my thrown." Madame Harriet replied.

"You haven't got much coordination left to even pick up another shot. I will be wearing that damn crown before you can say double sided tape." House declared as he took another shot. Thirteen shook her head and sat down next to House.

"I know you are trying to be named the head bitch in here, but I'd really like to move on to the next phase of our date before you pass out in your own piss." Thirteen said as she took the last full shot out of his hand and downed it herself. He grinned at her and nodded in agreement.

"Ladies, my apologies but I'll have to put to rest this duel…for now." He said as he stood up with Thirteen and grabbed his cane.

"Remy, couldn't he just stay for two more rounds? I know I can take lover boy down." Madame Harriet said.

"Not a chance. I have ideas for him and I need him coherent…Anyway, I know you are just trying to make out with him once he's completely lost all inhibition. You did it before to Taub." Thirteen said with a huge grin. House's mouth dropped open at that piece of info.

"Taub made out with a dude? When? Why?"

"No, he made out with a Madame. There is a distinct difference, my boy." Madame Harriet replied as she gently touched House's cheek.

Thirteen laughed and pulled House with her toward the entrance.

"Seriously, Thirteen, tell me."

"Taub was upset one night after him and Rachel had a big fight. I suggested he accompany me to see a show…He was just as surprised as you that it was a drag show. He got wasted and Madame got some Taub. He doesn't remember a thing, which means you cannot ever bring it up, House." She said with a menacing smile as they neared her Yaris. House glared at her.

"That's like asking Michelangelo not to draw or Shakespeare not to write. My talent to humiliate and torture are as legendary as my medical genius." He announced with a dramatic tilt of his chin. Thirteen unlocked the doors.

"If you say one word, draw a picture, or even attempt a game of charades to get this secret out you will not get a chance at another date with me." She said as she leaned against the car door.

"Fine. I'm just in this for the bisexual three-way, anyway."

"Really? I had the distinct impression that you may genuinely have deeper feelings especially by the way you held hands with me as we walked out of the restaurant earlier. Do you always bring potential one-night stands a single pink carnation?" She asked as she held up the flower. He grinned and opened his car door.

"Fine. I won't let it out that Taub has the hots for a chick with a di-…"

"No need to finish that sentence." She said as she joined him in the car.

"Where to next?" He asked a she started the car.

"If I tell you it won't be as fun."

"Jeez, this mysterious ingénue act is wearing thin. I like answers just as much as puzzles." He said as he leaned back against the chair.

"Well, get use to it because mysterious is my middle name kind of like yours is Curmudgeon."


End file.
